Washed Away, by Shiksha Dheda
Review by Joe Haward February 2023
Published by Alien Buddha Press
4/5
In the mystical and strange 16th century poetry, The Dark Night of the Soul, written by the Spanish poet, St John of the Cross, it describes the journey of the soul, and its becoming, through the pain and darkness of this world.
“As a traveler into strange countries goes by ways strange and untried, relying on information derived from others, and not upon any knowledge of his own—it is clear that he will never reach a new country but by new ways which he knows not, and by abandoning those he knew—so in the same way the soul makes the greater progress when it travels in the dark, not knowing the way.”
Washed Away, by Shiksha Dheda, carries that same sense of journey, a becoming in and through the darkness and struggle of mental illness. This collection of poetry openly wrestles with the pain, fears, and frustrations of living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and depression, whilst releasing a whisper of hope into the wind, believing it will one day settle.
Dheda writes with poetic lucidity, language wrapped in allegory and metaphor that speaks with a clarity that comes from lived experience. This in itself is a feat of real significance, for it is not always easy to express our inner world when mental illness consumes us with such overwhelming force. Yet Dheda gives the reader remarkable insight into the “physical and metaphysical” struggles, and how the disorder(s) “galloped into existence” and have been “sustained” through the years.
Each piece displays Dheda’s breadth of creativity, and vulnerability, poems that render the reader vulnerable themselves as the raw energy of struggle pours out across the page.
“I am haunted by a ghost,” Dheda laments in “Ghosts.”
“The ghost of who I once was.
The ghost of me.”
This pain is evident throughout, woven into the fabric and fiber of the whole collection, nostalgia’s kiss of a lost identity placed upon Dheda’s words.
“The find” is a remarkable piece within the collection, an insight into how OCD grows, promising a peace that can never come through its incessant demands; “The gift of insanity” reminds the reader that ‘madness’ might just be the sanity the world needs; “Failure” reveals the loss of human-to-human touch, and the devastation it causes.
Washed Away is made up of fifty-eight poems, some of which are pieces of powerful visual poetry. The collection is divided into three parts — Soap Lathering, Rinsing, D(r)ying — likened to the action of washing your hands, the default compulsion that Dheda reverts to.
This debut collection is wonderful and heartbreaking, a true example of how poetry can uniquely shed a light upon “the uncertainty of living with a mental disorder.”
You can follow Shiksha Dheda on Twitter here.
You can find Shiksha Dheda’s website here.